16 June 2011

A year ago today.

I came home from camping early in the morning, expecting my dad to be at work and ready for some much needed shut eye, since I'm the worst at camp-sleeping. I walk into the house to my dad passed out on the couch. Gently, I wake him up and ask if he had the day off for some holiday I didn't know of, and he says, "no, I didn't want to go."

Tears in my eyes, I stormed to my room and slammed the door. I couldn't believe he was doing it again. He finally had his dream job, dream car, a completely new living room that we had just decorated, and he was throwing it all away again.

It took me some time to gather up the courage, but I knew there was no other way. I opened my door and walked determinedly down the hall. In the most confident voice I could muster, I said,
"If you don't stop drinking, I'm leaving and I'm not coming back. What you're doing to yourself makes me sick, and I am so disappointed in you. You can throw everything away, but I won't be a part of it."

Five minutes later, we were on our way to treatment.

A year later, I wake up at 4 AM to get ready for my day. I dress in a nice skirt and head to my dad's house. I'm a little late, which a year ago would have pissed my dad off to the point of taking everything away from me. Today, he laughs it off and buys me some chocolate milk at Circle K.

Jake meets us at the AA meeting, where my dad recieves his year chip. As he talks to the group about his experience, all my experiences from a year ago flood my memory.
Joyous. Scared. Alone. Sad. Happy. Angry.
I remember how scared I was the first night sleeping by myself in an empty house. How Jake stayed at my house almost every night to make sure I wasn't scared anymore. I remember sneaking my dad Pepsis because all they sold at the clinic were Cokes. I remember going to family therapy and not knowing how to tell the therapist how I felt in front of my dad. I remember crying, a lot.

Most of all, I remember my dad talking about his love for God. Somewhere in the place, it just clicked to him that he'll never be alone in this life when Heavenly Father is with him.

I'm so grateful for all those that were there for me and my dad during that time and continue to be there for us! He deserves this more than anyone, and I'm so glad that I finally have my dad back.

Congratulations Daddy, I love you so much!


  1. Wow.
    You are such an incredible person, Brittany Lew.
    Congratulations and I'm so happy for you and your family!

  2. This post is so beautiful. I'm so glad you shared it with everyone. You are awesome :) Congrats to your daddy!

  3. I love your old man! This is a fantastic post! You're fabulous and congrats on his and your happy one year!!!

  4. You're so lucky to have a father so dedicated to you and his family that he was willing to turn his whole life around! What an amazing blog to share with the world! Father's Day will be so special this year! Love you!

  5. I love you Britney! I'm so grateful for the example you are to me! Such an amazing story!

  6. Beautiful! Thank you for sharing this inspiring story! I miss seeing you, but love getting a glimps of your life through the blog!