It's been a long, long time.

A year. A year since I took an unintentional hiatus. A year since I last poured my soul onto these pages. As I sit here recovering from my 2nd surgery of the year, I can't help but think about all the things I've missed this past year. The things that my future children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren may never know because a year has passed.

I don't want another year to pass.

I want to be better about documenting my life. The further I go in discovering my family, the more and more disappointed I become that my ancestors didn't think it was important to write about their lives. I want to know if that southern gentleman was in the civil war, and I want to know why my great, great, great, great aunt married 4 times. Their lives are important to me, and no matter how small or unimportant a story may seem, someone, somewhere in my family will think it's important. Someone will relate to it.

I'm easily swayed by what is "hip" and what others see as cool, but no one ever did anything important doing what was "hip" and "cool." My plan is to update my last year and to continue to update the adventures that Kendall and I embark on, so that someday our great, great, great granddaughter will know where she came from, why she's a mormon, and that her grandmother had great conviction and unending love for her family.

Welcome back, old friend!

Humbled.

I'm going to take another pause in catching up to talk about the present.

Today I spent a lot of time thinking about my husband. I was having a gross sick day, and even though I wasn't feeling good I felt the need to pull my little tush out of bed and drag myself through my classes. By the end of the six hours, not only was I sicker than I started, but I missed Kendall incredibly. I started to think about the gifts I could give him for his birthday and Valentine's Day, and on my way home I even called him to see how his day went since he had to go to class sick, too.

When I finally walked through the door, directly in front of me this sat, waiting for me to stumble upon.

Lately, I've been so focused on holidays and gifts and material things that I have forgotten what is most important. In Kendall's sweet letter, he wrote about how he can't wait to start our eternal family together and how happy he is that I am his wife. This simple, thoughtful gift brought me back to reality and helped me realize what's most important.

I am so in love with my husband and happy that I found someone who can ground me. He is my perfect balance because he constantly reminds me to put Christ at the center. He is a man that thinks of eternal things before temporal things - a trait that I fell for immediately. I cried the moment I walked through the door, knowing that the man who had left this precious gift for me was mine forever.

In case you didn't already know, I adore you Kendall, and I love you more than you know.

Speaking of New Year's...

On New Year's Eve this year, Kendall began to scribble away on a small notepad, stopping every few minutes to put on his "I'm thinking really hard" face. Upon asking him why he was making such a face, he informed me that he was making a list, a list that was meant to last all year, and that he really meant it this time. 

Now, I've heard of these so called "New Year's resolutions," but I had never personally tried said resolutions. A year is a long time to commit to no chocolate or signing up for a gym you'll go to twice a month. But, Kendall decided that it was time that we both get serious about the New Year, and so began my own scribbling and "I'm thinking really hard" face. 

We decided on thirteen resolutions for '13.

I'm getting fancy up in here. Anyways.

1. Read scriptures everyday.

2. Go to the temple at least once a month.

3. No soda.

4. No junk food.

5. Exercise everyday - not tomorrow.

6. Focus on school and do all things on time.

7. Make time to be romantic.

8. Blog more.

9. Finish cleaning the house.

10. Be more organized.

11. Practice guitar everyday.

12. Learn a new hymn on the piano each week.

13. Pray always.

So, now that it's February (happy Groundhog Day!), I can actually give an accountability report about how I'm doing. Thirteen is a lot, and each of these has taken me a little bit of time to get used to. A year seems like a long time, but it makes my resolve to get things done that much stronger. I may slip up sometimes, but the main difference this list has made for me this year is that slipping up isn't giving up. I haven't failed because I had a cupcake the day after my birthday when I said I wouldn't. I haven't failed because I couldn't exercise the day I had a migraine.

So if you made resolutions, I just want you to know that I know they're hard and I know it's uncomfortable, but it's worth it. And other people are suffering right along with you. I'm suffering along with you. The most important thing is that we are trying to better ourselves, and even if we "slip up," failure is not an option this year.

What are your resolutions this year?

Welcome.

One of the most important things that happened to us over the past months we've been away is that we moved out of our tiny little apartment. It was a good apartment while it lasted...but this house is much better. These are just a few of my favorite parts of our little house.

I'm not much of a decorator, but I'm pretty proud of myself so far! I'm still discovering my style and I try to do a little bit each week to improve our house. 

Speaking of improving our house...I wish I would have taken before and after shots of the entire thing. We were lucky enough that my grandma allowed us to rent out her house when she moved out, but unfortunately that meant that she didn't clean anything up. It was a disaster. It took us weeks to clean out a room to even be able to live in. But! We did it. And now the house is clean, stink free, and ours.

I love our home.

Pause.

We're going to take a break from our regularly scheduled catch-up session for this important service announcement. I LOVE THRIFTING. And this post doesn't really have to do with thrifting as much as it has to do with being thrifty. As I've said before, since I got married I became a cheap-o. I can't fathom spending more than 10 dollars on a shirt and cringe at the idea of buying pants.

Recently, Kendall and I have become obsessed with this little place called Plato's Closet. Seriously. It's amazing. Kendall bought me a pair of pants for 12 dollars...and AH! Amazing. This post also isn't about Plato's Closet. Today I went in to Downeast Basics to update my much needed undershirt collection, and as I walked in the girl working the register informed me that all clearance items were an additional 40% off. That was the wrong thing to tell me, lady.

So what that I bought 5 shirts, a cardigan, two pairs of pants, and three undershirts? It's not like I only went for two undershirts or anything... My wallet may be empty, but my closet is happy. And that's all that matters, right? The moral of the story is to be patient, because eventually your stinginess will come in handy and you'll get nice new clothes for Plato's Closet prices. Awesome.

Next thing's...next.

Hooray for awkward post titles! And two days in a row of blogging! I'm on a roll tonight. Anyways, seriously. The next important thing in the long list of things that I didn't blog about is my new face. And by face, I mean hair.

I went from this (please excuse the crappy iPhone pictures...that predicament is another post for another day):

To this:

Am I crazy? Bangs + ombre at the same time? I think not. I'm so in love with my hair. I've always wanted to be as cool as Zoey Deschanel, and now I can pretend even more that I already did. Also, my mom is the best hairdresser of all time. And one more picture of my bangs. THE END!

(bear with me during this awkward return-blogger stage where I say awkward jumbled up messes of kerbobbled things that make no sense. Like kerbobbled.)

Saturday obsession.

Have you ever had one of those days that you needed? This Saturday is one of those days. Selah is here to play, Kendall is working on the yard, Sirius is sleeping at my feet, and I'm enjoying the cool weather and the relaxation from a drawn out week. And this beautiful voice, which is a typical obsession of mine in the autumn months, is serenading my lovely November Saturday. I want to live in this music video, it looks mystical and magical, as winter should be.

Oh happy Saturday.

A goal.

As I sat contemplating the reasons that my favorite month has to leave me for another year, I realized something about months. I guess you could say this about weeks and days too, but for some reason months are a huge change in our lives. Months are when we pay bills, determine weather conditions, and count down to special events in our lives. Months seem to be the perfect time to start things -- weeks are too short and years are too long to truly commit to change.

A goal that I've struggled with for years is accepting my self-image. It's such a cliche thing for girls to be concerned about, but it is a serious issue for most of us and not something that I tend to take lightly. So, as my October came to a close, I came to the conclusion that I wanted to be better for myself. To make a new me on this first day of November.

Goal: Love myself.

A song for the deaf.

Anyone who knows me knows that music therapy is the perfect career for me. They also know that it abducts me from real life and makes it impossible for me to function throughout the year, which I think is going to be totally worth it in the end. So basically I'm putting the blame on music therapy for my hiatus. 

Sorrynotsorry.

I've always liked to think music is magical, and music therapy allows me to continue that belief in a socially acceptable way. This semester I've been working with children who are deaf and hard of hearing -- I know, it doesn't make any sense, and that's why it makes sense. Music is so much more than I could have ever dreamed in my wild magical dreams. It is so magical that it helped me connect and communicate with children who can't even hear me. It showed me that unicorns and Hogwarts must be real, because music can do the impossible.

As Dumbledore once said, "music, a magic beyond all we do here."

It's been too long...again.

Everyday, I get this overwhelming feeling that there is a part of my life that is missing, and everyday I know that the part of my life I'm missing is journaling and blogging, taking pictures, documenting my life. I tend to get overwhelmed with school, and life in general, and think of blogging as an added layer on my stresscake of a life. Like girls do, I make it out to be way more difficult than it has to be. In reality, blogging helps me to let out how I feel and express myself in a way that my stressful life doesn't allow for!

So, here's to trying, once again, to blog. Consistently. Forever.

And an update of what has been happening at the Lewis and Clark residence.

Basically these last few weeks have been filled to the brim with fall activities, hanging out with the Sirius monster, crafting and knitting, and food. I've been trying to juggle full time school with husband time and housework time, all while not chopping my own head off. I don't know how you girls do it, but I think I'm learning. Slowly.

you GUYS!

I'm SO sorry for the abrupt way in which I left you hanging in anticipation of my next brilliant blog post (ahem, sarcasm)! Bad Brittany. I basically cry about it every night before I lay my head down for my "beauty rest," which my Anatomy teacher confirmed is a real thing.

ANYWAYS.

So many things have been going on around these parts. Hopefully now that we have the internets back you will learn more about my exciting* life for the past couple weeks! Hopefully I will be able to get back into the groove. Hopefully I can find a better word to start my sentences besides "hopefully."

For now, I leave you with a sneak peak of my wedding ceremony/reception, which my photographer just brought by my house last night.

I'm in photography love with Sarah Waggoner.

The end.

*not exciting at all, more like stressful, busy, and sucky suck town time. ha!

A blur.

Week two of husband's night shift.

I don't think I'll ever get used to it. Even when I'm busy and studying and working and worrying about a million other things, I hate the idea of taking a break from those things alone. I miss being able to just sit with him, doing nothing. I work for the week to be a blur so I can see Kendall clearly on the weekends.

This week was crazy and hard and stressful, and this morning when I woke up next to Kendall I felt it all fade away, like it didn't matter what happened during the week because we'd end up together at the end.

I just need everything to come back into focus.

Today is a new day.

I started out this morning with a pretty positive attitude. I was coming to terms with my favorite summer coming to an end and getting a little excited about getting back into music therapy for the semester. I adore my major, so that part isn't too hard. The hard part for me is the motivation to go to class, study, and care at all about classes that I don't care about. But I was willing to look past that and try my hardest to enjoy my first day of my senior year of college.

Then I realized I didn't have a parking pass and had to be dropped off at my class. I was late to my first class because I had to print off a powerpoint that my teacher didn't end up using. My dad had to pick me up like I was in elementary school because I didn't have a car and my husband was at work. When I got home, I realized my keys were inside the house, so I had to borrow my dad's car, drive to Kendall's work, get the house key, then drive back home. By the time I got home, I had been gone for 13 hours.

And somehow I'm still alive. Even when the world gives me crap to work with, I'm going to try not to let it break me. That's my usual problem with school. I let the world break me. This semester, I have an amazing husband to support me and I'm motivated to do it right.

Take that, world.

Update schmupdate.

For the lack of a better subject, and my energy to generate cute blog-worthy pictures, this is basically going to update you on all the crazy things that have been happening up in hurr (hurr = the Clark residence).

Kendall starts school tomorrow, and I start on Thursday. We just barely got our schedules worked out, but we also just barely were able to apply for financial aid...oops. It's really confusing when you're married, but hopefully all the hassle and extra paperwork will be worth it when we get that sweet cash money that pays for our torturous classes for the next few months.

On top of starting class tomorrow, Kendall also starts a new job...the night shift. Which means no more dinners together or anything. I'm pretty stressed out and sad about it, even though I'm so proud of him for taking responsibility to have a full time job, no matter what it takes. Any advise about how to keep sane during this would be much appreciated.

Also, the family that I work for is moving, and not just down the street. They're moving about 30 minutes away from where we are going to be living. I'm going to try to stay with them and still work with them everyday like I do now, but I don't know if it's going to take a toll on me and if I'll be able to keep up with it. But I also don't know if I could ever leave them. It's the best job I've ever had. I would work with them for the rest of my life if I could.

Oh, did I mention that Kendall and I are moving, too? In the midst of all this craziness, we're moving into my grandma's house because she's moving out and wants us to take it over. It's a beautiful house and way less for us to pay than our apartment, but it honestly came at the worst time ever. School, work, life, ward duties, etc. I'm a little overwhelmed, if you couldn't already tell. On top of that, I've been sick all week. Ha!

I guess I'm just sad that the best summer of my life is coming to an end.

Instabalance.

I don't know what it has been lately, but I have felt very 60s hippy-ish. Maybe it's the Olympics, rekindling my love for all things flower, peace, love, and Beatles. Maybe it's the fact that I'm starting school in a little over a week, Kendall's starting a new job, we're moving, and everything's changing, that makes me feel like I need a more chill, balanced life right now. Whatever it is, analyzing my Instagram tells the story.

1 & 2. Just spending time with my husband. Watching movies, hugging, cooking, going to Good Will and finding funny books or smelly curtains. I just have craved us time lately. Also, notice the hippy-natural-throwinabraid hair? Apparently I unknowingly boycotted products and heat in my hair for the last three weeks.
3 & 4. Homemade. I have always loved cooking, but I've been trying harder to think of interesting things to make using the food we have left at the end of the month. French bread grilled cheese and Oreo shakes.
5 & 6. Not-so-homemade. We've tried to balance homemade food out with actually going out to eat to treat ourselves. Red velvet pancakes (I DIE.) and the best pie ever (I guess you can call it Buttermilk pie, if you must).
7 & 8. Nature. What else does a hippy need besides fresh air, stars, and some tunes?

What's your instalife?

I shouldn't be alive.

The idea was an amazing idea. It was magical, actually. For a short drive down the way and an easy morning hike, we'd be frolicking in woodland flowers and crystal waters for the day. It seemed worth it to us on our vacation at the cabin, and we packed our small bags and headed out.

That was us excited and happy to be spending the day together doing two things we love: hiking and adventuring. Did you also catch somewhere in the middle of all those pictures a particular sign? The one that said "4 miles" and "4 quarts of water recommended?" Yeah...about that. We took this picture and neglected those teensy little facts. On our little trek, we only packed two water bottles, sunscreen, cell phones, and my inhaler. We figured that would be enough for our "short" hike. The last time I had been to Fossil Springs, I was able to drive down to the springs and play in the waters to my heart's content. Apparently they closed off the road and now the only way to get there was to hike the four miles. But that didn't stop me. I run 3 miles a day, what's an extra mile, right? Wrong.

We started the hike giddy as school girls, and though we got tired throughout, we knew that was just a symptom of hiking. Until about 3 and a half miles in, when we reached the dry riverbed. I could have cried. I sat down on a rock, after all my hard work, and couldn't move. How could we have gone all this way just to find a dry riverbed! Why didn't anyone tell us on their way back up? Oh, and we had just run out of water. Fabulous.

After sitting down for a few minutes, two ladies and their dogs passed by and asked if we had any duct tape for their dog's paws. We told them no, and asked what happened to his paws. They informed us that the pup had cut his paws in the water on the jagged rocks of the river. It was like the skies had parted -- there was a river! We promptly picked up all our gear and trudged on, hoping to find the river within the next half an hour; and, oh, did we.

I really wish I would have taken more pictures, these two do not do it justice. It was like an oasis in the desert, it was such a relief when we finally reached the water and I dipped my tired toes into it's cool springs. The waterfall was like something out of a movie. It was magical.

There was still the problem of having no water left to hike another 4 miles up the trail. Part of the reason I didn't take more pictures was that I was so stressed out that we were going to drop dead of dehydration and heat stroke. We spent about 2 hours at the falls, then decided it was time to hike back to the Jeep before the storm came through. As we hiked, we discussed how exactly we were going to get the water, not to mention food, in order to have enough energy to make it. 

A group in front of us stopped suddenly, and were talking about a spring that was high enough above the river to get water out of. Although it was high enough, the group was using chlorine and iodine tablets to purify their water. This made Kendall nervous, and he decided to keep looking for another area for water. I was TO'd, because I just freaking wanted water, whether it made me sick or not, but I followed him. I'm so glad we moved on. As we hiked up more, we came to a campsite. Kendall finally plucked up the courage to ask someone for a little bit of extra water. We asked the right person. He knew of a place just up the hike that had pure spring water, straight from the earth, no purification necessary.

Hallelujah!

It was the most delicious, magical, pure water. How amazing is Mother Earth? She sure saved our tushes. We sat drinking her water, Kendall even dunked his head in, for probably a half an hour before we could pull ourselves away to hike the rest of the way. Two women were sitting at the spring when we got there, and they just so happened to be Members too! They shared their food and some kind words before we headed off for the long trek to the Jeep.

The hike back up was brutal, but it was worth every minute. The experience made us so appreciative of each other, of the earth, and of the small blessings we receive everyday. Oh, and of not dying on our vacation weekend. That too. Not to mention the rain that fell on us as we reached the end of our hike, and the rainbow that towered over us like a gift for all that we had accomplished.

Kendall and I have always loved the show I Shouldn't Be Alive, but we never thought we'd come so close to being on it. I'm so grateful for that hike and for the lessons I learned; like reading signs and preparing for things so I don't die. So there you have it, the filling to our Oreo cookie of a cabin weekend.

The end.